FREE RADICALS

Well, waddya know? I continued the radical approach and now its looking like it may actually wind up being a painting I may like. Its nowhere near being completed but its on its way. Lets hope I dont screw it up......... again.......lol.

On another note, I had an email from Prakash who owns a furniture store, asking if I would like to display my art in his shop in a gallery evening in July..........however, his email seemed to be aimed at Amy Mulford. I dont know what is going on there, but its the second time today that something similar has happened and the third time in a week. What is the universe trying to tell me? Keep going because people are taking notice? Hmm, well, in this new frame of mind, since the scales fell off my eyes and allowed me to see just what Shilpa was talking about and how it already applied to another part of my life, I live in hope.

So now you have to watch this space for two reasons !

WOOPS !!

Oh dear , what have I done ?! I started making improvements, they didnt work, in fact made it worse, so I thought lets be radical then.........and possibly went a little too far? lol ! so basically at the moment I cant paint and this canvass is now going to have to become something completely diferent.

Since I did the Tess thing, I have been drawn strongly to making abstract art so perhaps that is where the future of this canvass actually luys. Perhaps my art will become less figurative. I dont know, and thats what I really like about art, this idea that anything is possible and, for me anyway, probable. All my work becomes an experiment into what else I can do. I like this. I like this feeling that my work can be about my feeling if I want it to be.

I cant say Im terribly happy with the way this painting currently looks, but keep watching this space because eventually it will look nothing like it does now, or it did yesterday, or will tomorrow. Give it about a week, maybe, perhaps. The one good thing about finishing the degree is that now I can make art without feeling a need to place it into a contemporary fine art category. Now I can just make art !! Feels soooooo gooooood !

A QUIET END, A NEW BEGINNING

Well, all the work is now down from the degree show signalling that it has finally come to an end. Three years ends here. Yes, there is still the graduation ceremony, and that will give it real closure I think. At the moment I know its ended but it doesnt actually feel like its ended, it just feels like there is a vacuum. To fill that vacuum, and to try to lift myself out of this dark dark hole, that even my most sensitive of friends seems to make light of, I have decided to rework last years works, to begin with, as I now feel they are not finished. I will of course post all the developments as they happen. I may start with the painting as seen above "ASCENSION IN THE MOURNING" as a footnote, may I publicly thank Tomas Mitsis for his advice via email having read yesterdays blog, thanks Tom, lets have that cuppa next week.

KNOCKING ON HEAVENS DOOR

Well, the gods were listening after all and what I thought might happen, hoped might happen, didnt: not for me anyway but congrats to Adi and the others for whom it did. I just wanted some kind of recognition. Is that too much to ask?

The way I feel............ Ive tried to explain to the few who listen........but they havent really heard..........they havent "felt", they havent "touched" my soul and felt what Im feeling. Whilst I am there for everyone, it seems, they seem to see me as being this strong fellow who will just buck up very soon cos he always does........but sometimes the dark empty hole is just too deep and a helping hand is required. I look but I dont see that helping hand. Maybe its there but its just too dark to see it, either way the effect is the same.

Having this male fence holding in the emotions is not good, but I dont know how to let go, cry it out, and then move on. Instead it gnaws away from the inside and threatens to destroy any good things left within.

But I dont want to just use this blog as a rambling, whinging, self-pitying vehicle (even though its probably safe to say that nobody else is reading this, therefore Im talking to myself so thats o.k.) but its good to get things off ones chest isnt it? They say its good to talk.

Knock once for yes, and twice for no.

Shh, I shall say zis only vonce......

..... and say it so, so quietly.......... overheard................ DMU library art buyers...... ........ cant say too much............... the gods may be listening........ and they can be really...........you know...... .......... sometimes....... kiss of death and all that................... but they defo like one of Adrian Yau's pieces................ ..................and Im saying no more, but Im kind of grinning next to a certain ............... .................................................................................................in the corner................. o.k., 'nuff said, fingers crossed. what's the betting Im completely wrong?

L.U.S.A.D. DAY

Today I went to see the LUSAD (Loughborough University) degree show। I spent almost three hours there, I had forgotten how big it was, plus I bumped into a couple of DMU students to yak with।

The show though। I just have to say WOW। So many of the works there just knock us off our pedestals and I dont know what that can be put down to। Is it more naturally gifted artists or is the tutors or a combination or just good luck? I dont know but I recommend a visit before it closes on June 20।

Although I have come down from the high I was on yesterday I am still feeling quite good and am now really enthused to start adding paint to canvass once more, especially as there will now be no reason except to make me feel good for doing it।

Viva la vida !!

Went to Lufbra on the scooter, longest journey of its short life, and it just purred along taking the Nanpantan hill with ease। Just lurve it.

MEETING A CHALLENGE

Two posts in one day! Nothing for weeks and then two, its like waiting for a bus!

So, Shilpa challenged me to make a painting like Tessa's just because I said that anyone, with practice, can do anything. Its just a matter of wanting to. Well, Ive been busy this morning in my little blue studio (thanks for getting me back into the swing of things by the way Shilps....nothing I like more than a challenge) and here is the outcome. When it is dry I will apply colour-tinted varnish and take it to a diferent level but of course, being oil, that wont take place until December.

So what do you think? I have attached a pic of one of Tessa's for comparison. Do please let me know.

DEGREE SHOW 2008

Well it finally came and went. It took three years to get to this point and then suddenly its all over, and how do I feel ? Hmm, not sure, sort of anti-climax. I seem to have had the same response from the viewing public that Ive had all my art-life, despite my work having improved so much. I dont understand this at all. Im now wondering........... was it worth it? The answer is yes, but not for the reasons I entered into it, which just goes to prove that every cloud has a silver lining. Have to be positive. Have to carry on. I just ordered 500 more business cards so I have to continue if only to justify this expenditure !

There seemed to be fewer people at the Opening Night compared to previous years, but despite that Tessa Williams sold nearly all of her works and my so very good friend Shilpa Surani sold two paintings with one of them sharing an award with Nick Jones.

I have attached pics of my share of the DeMontfort University degree show 2008. Let me know what you think.

(oops! somehow I managed to upload one image twice and now cant work out how to get rid of one of them !!)

FACING THE DAY

OK, I had my 52nd birthday and thanks to all who sent me cards, e-cards, text and facebook messages. I love you all and appreciate the sentiments deeply. as for my art for life; am applying for a year long artist's residency so fingers crossed for that. Not putting paint to canvass yet but am sifting through ideas in sketch form and this is where most of the work takes place. Getting the right images, placing characters into good positions and with happy relationships with other personages in the same rectangle is half the battle. And so the work continues but slowly. My latest idea circles around the idea of motherhood which, as a man, I can only view from outside as the emotions involved and the bonds made between a mother and her offspring are quite alien to me. It will be interesting to see if I manage to achieve a sympathetic rendering of this unique and closed world. Watch this space !!